PANK-you, No Kids Allowed Movement!

Dear B-Reader,

My husband, Jeff, and I are what people of our parents' generation affectionately call DINK's (Dual-Income No Kids). If you've been following the goings-on of my real life, then you know that I'm a first-time, expecting auntie. With no human babies of my own (I have plenty of animal babies), I am geared up and ready to spoil the little one rotten! And, now that Jeff and I are entering a new phase of our life, there are new terms to describe us: PANK and PUNK (Professional Aunt/Uncle No Kids, term by Savvy Auntie founder Melanie Notkin http://www.savvyauntie.com).

Jeff and I love children. In fact, several of you, B-Reader, have graciously allowed us to partake in the lives of your sons and daughters in attending ballet recitals, sporting events, birthday parties, lemonade stands, etc. You have likely attended one of our Egg Hunt Parties designed especially for the kids. Although we ourselves are childless, as a PANK and a PUNK, we have a lifestyle full of the special humor and love that come with children.

However, there is a time and place for everything and everyone. The giggle of a small child is adorable when one is at a restaurant at lunchtime and the dessert tray passes by (shout out to Marissa). However, the kicking of the backside of the booth by little feet at a 9:00PM dinner is not what I ordered off of the menu. The choral-like singing of the 20th Century Fox theme song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7GE_HMZxa0) before the latest kids' film is my favorite part of my movie-going experience. But shouting in the middle of a museum collection is disturbing to both me and the statues. And that teeny, tiny, little kiss and ginormous bear hug from a child (Cooper, Lucas, Avery, Gabi) upon opening their holiday present is what I look forward to the most at that time of year. The polite "I'll have one, thank you" from heart-throb Maverick (Top Gun; Dylan) when reaching for Halloween candy is a treat! Yet, the grabbing of every item off of a shelf accompanied by what seems to be a requisite temper tantrum in the middle of the grocery aisle is not my ideal image of a child.

There is a new movement underway, the No Kids Allowed Movement http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/the-no-kids-allowed-movement-is-spreading-2516110/, which some of my readers who are parents will consider to be anti-child. Please, I am asking that you contemplate a different perspective when pondering this concept. The movement can be considered pro-child in the right setting. If you would like to know my opinion, it is this: Children have their time and place, and the time is not always and the place is not everywhere. They are welcome additions to many of life's activities and should not be banned completely from every venue; how else will they learn to grow to be adults in these situations? However, they and their parents or adult chaperones in these situations must be aware of their surroundings and act appropriately and politely.

Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.  - Emily Post

Think Stock photo

Katherine Marple

Dear B-Reader,

The gale that blew through H-town this past weekend took with it my home's AT&T UVerse connection. No internet. No cable. No problem. Jeff dusted off our DVD collection, and we sat back last night to a feature presentation of one of our absolute favorites, Mario Puzo's The Godfather. Epic, tragic, and full of what I crave in a good plot -- murder.

Not your first impression of me, eh, B-Reader? Consider me the preppy version of Agatha Christie's Jane Marple. Whereas Jane knits, I compost; whereas Jane rides the trolley, I drive a VW beetle convertible; whereas Jane sips tea, I savor cappuccino. Now really, dear, don't you agree that there is nothing better than a good, old fashioned, vengeful murder in the summertime? Jane does.

Which brings me to my newest fixation -- the Nook by Barnes and Noble. Don't start putting words into my fingers, B-Reader. I'm not the picture of an avid reader. I leave that role to my sister, brother, well, the whole bloodline (I wonder if Mr. Dewey Decimal System is a distant relative?). In fact, I am the metaphorical black sheep of the family when it comes to being a book worm. No slithering around in dusty old books for this prep.

But, what I do love is a great gadget. Clean lines, simplicity, and multifunctional -- those are features that will engage me.

With the Nook, I'm able to read a bit of book A, with the built-in e-dictionary quickly highlight and define a bloody British word that's been driving me barmy, surf the internet, return to reading book A until the suspense is too much to handle, pre-order the next book in the series and save it to my library, read a bit of book B before determining to dive back into finish the murder scene of book A. I can do all of this before you can say Bob's your uncle! Blimey! Oh, and later in the day when my eyes are just too tired to read fine print without squinting and risking premature crows feet, I can increase the font size to extra-extra large! Brilliant!

Speaking of the Nook, I really should stop typing on the blog and get back to my read. Murders don't solve themselves, you know.

Cheerio!





* See the resemblance?