Q: I have a question. What if you have some really good friends that you love doing things with, but it seems that you are doing all of the calling/inviting? A: Dear Friend,
Thank you for your comment/question to the earlier posting http://katherinechalkley.blogspot.com/2011/07/etiquette-q-invitation-reciprocation.html.
Your friends are not reciprocating, and as mentioned in my post, reciprocation exists in order to build relationships. Relationships take "two to tango" and cannot be one-sided with one party doing all of the inviting.
I sense that you are not OK with this situation (and most people also would not be OK with it) and wish for a more substantial relationship with your friends. There are several approaches that you might take to handle this lack of reciprocation (see http://www.hisocietyds.com/blog/2009/01/05/options-for-the-friend-who-extends/). However, from your question, it appears that you have already tried to ignore the problem and/or have settled to be bothered by this situation and silently stew. My preferred approach to most prolonged, sticky situations is to simply attack such cases head-on.
A good, old-fashioned heart-to-heart conversation with your friends in a gentle, well-mannered method and tone is the tactic that I recommend. Let them know how you feel. You might also consider explaining to them how important their friendship is to you and that you would hope that your friendship is important to them, too. Be straight-forward and uninhibited in asking for what you really feel would be the primary indicator to you that your friendship is valued: tell them that you would appreciate a casual invite out from each of them.
Friendship, like all forms of relationships, takes routine work and appropriate honesty. If a person is a true friend, s/he will take your feelings into consideration.
No comments:
Post a Comment